A few weeks back I had a chance to talk a bit with a couple of guys at a wedding. It was a very short talk as I was still working but one of the things really stuck with me. When girls talk about getting married or are working on things for their wedding or their friends wedding there’s a thousand things to talk about. A guy says to his friends “I’m getting married” there’s only 2 questions asked (1. Are you sure? 2. When and where’s the bachelor party?). At least that’s what we all have as the idea of a grooms perspective.
We see the pressure build up as the wedding closes approaches, arguments might start to happen and brides get stressed about everything. But the groom really has done his part. You may think he doesn’t help you decide on small details like “do you use confetti or lavender on exiting the ceremony” or the color of the flowers but when you ask most grooms they will tell you the same thing: “I know she has a vision of our wedding and I just want her to be happy and I fear that if I help her on a territory unknown to me, I am just going to be in her way.”
So men may play the “I don’t care” and being tough act, but putting a wedding together is a scary thing for guys. The pressure is on. We haven’t thought of so many tiny details like ever, we haven’t ever thought about fitting a tie color with a bouquet that’s not even meant for us to hold. It’s all new to us and girls seem to have thought of everything a hundred times over so out of fear of disappointing our bride-to-be we listen to your ideas and say “yay” or “mehh”. I promise however, that grooms really do care about how things look on the day but we care more about the happiness of the ladies we are about to marry.
So even though Anouschka asked me to write for grooms, I hope this clears up some ideas that brides-to-be have about grooms. Please be patient with us. Explain what you want and how you see things, draw a picture and see that your groom gets more involved and is better able to help you and may even come up with some cool creative ideas. It takes a bit more time but guess what? Your love and bond will grow closer and you get to enjoy all the fun things to build your wedding day together a lot longer.
Have fun together while planning your amazing day,
MR BIG, SEX AND THE CITY